Monday, March 15, 2010

Yard Sale


I have always been intrigued by places that offer a bunch of completely useless items for purchase. Are you looking for a dilapidated barbie doll mansion? How about half a shoe string? Broken condom? Step right up, you don’t need any of this, but it’s sure fun to wonder who might.

My one venture into the yard sale business last less than an hour. I had everything set up- the skim board I had used only once, the snowman cookie jar with the broken carrot nose, my pog collection, some Pokemon cards, an assortment of pet rocks, all of the common items one would hope to discover at any good yard show - when my first potential sale arrived.

“I’m looking for some beach towels.”
“This is everything I’m selling.”
“Yeah, but I need some beach towels. Do you have any?”

In my fucking warehouse? I was twelve and this guy seemed to think he had stumbled upon a K-mart. So I took down the strategically placed signs throughout my neighborhood and called it a day.

There was no point to that story, which leads me to my next point. This blog is exactly what it claims to be: a random assortment of shit, some of it real, some of it fake (Yes, that is actually the crack pipe I got in trouble making for my Plumbing merit badge back in my Scout days. No, that’s not really melted snow cream, just urine colored melted snow that I considered making into snow cream.) Most of the stuff in here is probably rusty spoons, but maybe you’ll find something you can appreciate.

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