Saturday, October 10, 2009

Obituaries: Jimmy Riggle, 49, Country Singer



I found this when I was cleaning out my old school folders. I think it was an assignment for a creative writing class.


HOUSTON, TX, Sept. 2 --- Jimmy Riggle, the long renowned country singer of such hits as “If You Ain’t Good Enough for Your Brothers, You Ain’t Good Enough to Be My Wife” and “That Ain’t a Fridgerator, It’s My Sweetheart,” died on Thursday in a bar fight in Dallas.

The singer, born James Harvard Riggle, III, was in Dallas for a rodeo, where he had promised to ride a bull while singing his famous “My Horse Needs a Shot of Tequila with that Salt Cube” as a publicity stunt. Later that evening, Jimmy went to a bar that catered mostly to locals and reportedly got into a disagreement with a man who was angry that Mr. Riggle’s bull riding attempt ended before the lyrics began. The man stabbed Mr. Riggle after he apparently made a crude remark about the man’s wife. Jimmy Riggle is the first person to suffer under the newly passed Texas law making murder a legal response to spousal insults.

The rodeo appearance was the last attempt at a career revival for Riggle, who’s fame, after twenty years of sold out concerts and 15 quadruple Fool’s Gold album’s (Country music has a different system for rating album sales), had been declining over the last five years.

As part of this career revival, Jimmy was a cast member on The Surreal Life, but due to lack of interest for the show among Jimmy’s fan base, the role did not help.

The funeral will be held in Nashville, TN, where much of his family currently resides. Jimmy's will requests that tickets be sold to his funeral where his cousins will perform several of his better known songs, including “For Fifteen Dollars I’ll Let You Saddle Her Up” and his 50 week Country Chart Topper “Keep It in the Family (My Sister’s My Cousin and My Girlfriend Too).” Tickets are on sale for twenty five dollars.

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